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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23375095">Jo Mamma</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Columbine - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Columbine, Jo Mamma, Jokes, Other</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 13:40:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,060</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23375095</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This is it. Yes, actual Jo Mamma jokes listed from Eric Harris himself.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>None</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Jo Mamma</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>That’s all for now G’s. More will be up soon!</p><p>Insults done by REB, VoDkA, and KiBBz.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>JO mamma's kitchen lights are SO bright that you can see grease, dust, or any other bad thing in need of seeing… JJJEEAAAA!!!!!!!!!</p><p>JO mamma sees so many stray dogs in her neighborhood that she talks [to] the humane society a lot… JJJEAAAAA</p><p>JO mamma is so creative that she has made her own decorations MANY times… and has even sold them! JJJJEAAAA!!!</p><p>JO mamma has so many phones in her house that she can answer a phone in ANY room... because there’s a phone in every room… because there’s so many... JJJEEAAA!</p><p>JO mamma has seen so many rainy days that she can tell what KIND of rain is raining during a storm...because she's seen so many rain storms... JJJEEAAAAAA</p><p>JO mamma can dial phone numbers so fast that people want her to call ticket master for them... because she dials their number fast... so she gets tickets... JJJJEEAAA!!!</p><p>JO mamma likes cheesecake so much that she makes a pretty good one herself!... whenever she wants!... one... JEEEYAAAAA!!!</p><p>JO mamma likes to take walks so much she takes one every day! Sometimes twice a day! JJJEEEYAAAA!!!</p><p>JO mamma is so ambidextrous that she can even throw with both hands! JEEYAAAAA!!!</p><p>JO mamma so fat she doesn’t even look at the nutrition value tables on the food boxes she eats… she just buys them and eats them… because she’s fat... JJJEEYAAAAAA!!!!</p><p>JO mamma is so well behaved at dinner parties that no one ever has to tell her to behave! JEEEYAAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma has so many bag clips that her neighbors ask to use some occasionally! JEEEYAAAA!!!</p><p>JO mamma's health care plan is so great that she can afford to get sick and hurt and stuff! JJJEEEYAAAAA!!!!!</p><p>JO mamma is so good at counting in seconds that she doesn’t need a watch to time things! Except long things... JJJEEEYAAAA</p><p>JO mamma got smacked so hard by the water when she dove off the diving board that even her mom felt it... because she got hit hard... and her mom is psychically tuned into her... because she is her mom... so she felt it to... JJJEEEYAAAA!!!!</p><p>JO mamma so stupid she thought Saturday was Sunday... until she looked at the paper and saw the date... but for that particular time she wasn’t smart at all! JEEEYAAAAA!!!</p><p>JO mamma can smell so good... she knows when people are having barbeques or cook outs! JJJEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma has so much printer paper, that she can print out large documents any time! JJJEEEYAAAAA!!!</p><p>JO mamma watches movies so much, she gets excited when she finds out that sequels are coming soon! JJJEEYAAAA!!!</p><p>JO mamma enjoys sandwiches so much, she can make her own! JJJEEEYAAAA!!!</p><p>JO mamma has so many extension cords that she has the availability to run various appliances where ever she wants in a room! JJJEEEYAAAAAA!!!!!</p><p>JO mamma is so stressed out that she needs to relax in a hot tub at least once a week! JJEEEEYAAAAAA!!!!</p><p>JO mamma has so many bank deposit slips that she never needs to use the ones at the actual bank! JJJEEEYAAAAA!!!!</p><p>JO mamma's new haircut is so good that people say “Goodness, that’s a fine looking haircut!” JJEEYAAAAA!!!</p><p>JO mamma has so many decks of cards that you can play any time at all, because there’s always one there... waiting to be played... anywhere in the house!! JJEEEYAAAAA!!!</p><p>JO mamma has said the word carrot so many times, that she is very good at pronouncing it! JEEEEYAAAAA!!!</p><p>JO mamma hears so good, that she can tell when someone is talking far away!! JEEEYAAAA!!!</p><p>JO mamma uses Vidal Sassoon so often, that she has really good hair... it’s not damaged... or dry... or oily!! JEEEYAAAA!!!</p><p>JO mamma wears combat boots! JJJEEEYAAAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma is so unpredictable that people almost never know what she is going to say next... unless it’s obvious... then they could tell… but otherwise they couldn’t... JJJEEEEYAAAA!!!!</p><p>JO mamma is so cold she thought she was in a freezer! JJEEEEYAAAAA!!!</p><p>JO mamma's fingers are so short, when she puts on a glove, the fingers are too long! JEEEYAAAA!!!</p><p>JO mamma likes so many kinds of candy that when she goes to the grocery store, she wants to buy candy, but she doesn’t know which kind to buy... JJJJJEEJA!!!!!!!!!</p><p>Well JO mamma has so many frequent flyer miles that she could take a trip!!!!!!!!!... with them... JJJJJEEAAAAAAAA!!!!!!</p><p>JO mamma likes to read so much that she has a frequent user discount at the library! JJJEEEEYAAAA!!!</p><p>JO mamma's handwriting is so bad that it’s barely legible to most people! JJJEYAAAAA!!!!!</p><p>JO mamma so slow, when she’s driving, people honk at her, because she's going slower than the rest of traffic! JEEEYAAAAA!!!</p><p>JO mamma has so much salad every day that she buys salad at Sam's club &amp; it saves her money... JJEJAAAA!!!!!!!</p><p>JO mamma is so unpredictable that people almost never know what she is going to say next... unless it’s obvious... then they could tell... but otherwise they couldn’t... JJJEEEEYAAAA!!!!</p><p>JO mamma so fat she eats a lot of food! JJJEEEYAAA!!!</p><p>JO mamma is so good at math that she don’t even need a calculator!! Even for the advanced classes! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma has so many bottles of water that she hardly ever uses the faucet! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma is so young at heart that she likes to climb trees sometimes! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma eats so many apples, that all the seeds in them are starting to make her not feel good! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma has so many remote controls in her living room that she sometimes gets them mixed up... like when she wants to use the TV! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO momma has so much ice cream in her refrigerator that her family has ice cream for dessert EVERY night! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO momma has so many brooms in her broom closet that her floors are cleaner than most peoples. JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma has so many tables in her house that when she has company over, there’s always room for drinks... on the tables... because there’s a lot of them! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma is so thirsty that she drinks from the fire hydrant sometimes! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma is so fat that she can’t find very many diet plans that help her! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma is so fat the people say, “damn, there’s an obese woman!” JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma is so old that she has lots of grey hairs! And they are even overdue! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma's car is so blue, that people say it’s almost black! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma scissors are so dull, that she can’t cut paper very well with them! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma is so bad at biology that she thought the silkworm was a cow! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma is so old that she is starting to have arthritis problems! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma has so many shirts that she doesn’t do the laundry very often, because she has lots of shirts to wear! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma is so kind that she does a lot of work at homeless shelters... and hospitals! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma is such a bad cook that she can’t even make a glass of water… because she tries to cook it!... JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma is so southern, that she goes to pro wrestling matches a lot... and she likes them! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma's stapler is so old, that it doesn’t even have staples in it! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma has such bad social skills, that she argues a lot! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma has so many rings that she wears them on her fingers... and in her jewelry box... because that’s where they go! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma has so much scratch paper that she always has something to write on... in every room... if she has a pen... to write with... or a pencil! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO momma painted her walls in her house so good that people say “boy o boy, your walls sure are painted good,” &amp; she acknowledges it, too! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma has so many fast food coupons that she gets a lot of good deals when she orders... even at places that don’t give out many coupons.... because she has some! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma likes public parks so much, that she goes there every afternoon! And stays for hours! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma has so much insulation in her house that she stays warm even in the winter! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma's car has so much room in it, people have her transport their large things...because it can carry them... but it’s not a van or a truck... it’s just a big car! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma has so many red blood cells, that the doctor gave her medicine... and told her to be careful! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO momma has purchased so many garden items that the people at Home Depot say hi to her because they know her... because she goes there a lot... for garden stuff! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma has so many pages in her magazines that people say they are bigger than most other magazines! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma drinks so much orange juice that people say she should just eat the oranges... instead of drinking them! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma likes movies so much that she voted… more than once... on the award shows! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma has so many parking violations that the cops are getting angry, because they are sick of her getting them... and they don’t like writing<br/>
them out... and putting them on her car! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO momma 's mouse pads are so old that they are falling apart... and even store owners tell her to buy new ones... because even they know that her mouse pads are old &amp; falling apart... because she’s famous for that! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma can flick the top of a pop can so well that she can hit things that are somewhat far away! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO momma has seen so many scary movies that she’s not scared anymore when she sees one, &amp; she EVEN spoils the endings for people when she sees a scary movie that she has seen already! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma has so many problems with her knees that the doctors say she should get SURGERY! And soon too! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma has such a weird screen name on AOL that people sometimes ask her why she has that name &amp; she can’t give an answer because it’s so weird! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma is so evil that she doesn’t even say grace at the dinner table... or even says a prayer before going to bed! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma so stupid she thinks that P.T.A. stands for Paranormal Teraindustriational Activators... when it doesn’t! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma has such old clothes... that they have a few holes in them... and they even have a tear here and there! JEEEEYAAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma wears so many purple clothes that her closet looks purple because there are a lot of purple clothes in it! JEEEEYAAAA!!</p><p>JO momma thinks so hard that her head hurts sometimes... that’s how hard she thinks! JEEEEYAAAA!!</p><p>JO momma has so many toothbrushes that she sometimes doesn't know which one she wants to use! JEEEEYAAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma's jeans are so blue that people think that she just got them... when she didn’t... because they are really old... but still blue! JEEEEYAAAA!!</p><p>JO momma has so many keys on her key rings that people say “Gosh, you must be a janitor or something,” but she isn't... she just has a lot of keys! JEEEEYAAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma believes in Santa Claus so much that sometimes she stays up late &amp; watches the sky on Christmas Eve! JEEEYAAA!!!</p><p>JO mamma likes the holidays so much that she isn’t part of the percentage of depressed people during the holiday season! JJJEEEYAAAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma has so many different kinds of diet soda in her pantry that she always has what everyone wants... even skinny people... because diet soda is for everybody... JJEEAAAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma likes to play tag so much that most of the kids in the neighborhood are always asking her to come out and play... JJEEEYAAAA!!</p><p>JO mamma wears so many sunglasses so much of the time that everything seems bright when she takes them off... JJJJEEEEEEEAAAAAAA!</p><p>JO momma listens to the radio so much that she listened one time... and won a contest... because she listened to the radio a lot! JJJEEEEYAAA!!</p>
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